Reflections on a Trip Home -Thanksgiving 2010

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Mark Feiden

As my plane crossed the Kansas Prairie on my arrival flight home tears began to stream down my face. Below I could see the simple predictably of the Kansas terrain. The roads of Kansas are of simple square design enabling a navigator to begin at one point of a town and taking the unknown back roads still land safely at their destination. I was home.

When I embraced my Father I wept with the relief of feeling truly safe and protected. I was with my Father everything would be o.k. He loved me and his actions displayed it with an engulfing bear hug that only a father can give. For ten days my friends and family reconnected with me allowing me opportunity to reflect on my life in the South. During my visit I took as many back roads as possible allowing my self to get lost with no fear that I would find my way back.

During one of these back road journeys I was struck with a greater understanding of peace then I ever had before. My love for the Kansas road stems in their predictability. The roads in South Carolina are the complete antithesis. I have expressed my disdain for these roads several times to those around me. The S.C roads curve in a million different direction, street signs are rare and often times the road will change its name right in the middle of your journey. I do not like the S.C Roads.

In that moment of reflection on my Kansas roads what I came to realize is that the unpredictably was what I hated the most about driving in S.C. I hate not knowing how to get where I wanted to go and having to deal with the undetectability of the terrain. Life is not like the Kansas Roads. God has given us dreams and desires but we have no idea until reveled where the next turn may lead or even the reality of what those dreams in life would like. This moment gave me great peace. My heart understood the realities of Trusting God even greater then I ever had before. So at the end of my time back in Kansas I was ready to get back on the air plane with a peace that surpassed all understand that is only a gift from God. I may not know where I am going or have any idea how to get their I just need to enjoy the ride.

The Master Carpenter

After - A Beautiful Home

Before-A Run Down Pit

There is a man in the Body of Christ who has been like a Grandpa to me. God has gifted him with the ability to take an ugly run down house that people once called a home and see the beauty that can exist. For instance this house in the above picture is one that he purchased and has in three months completely overhauled. I am reminded of what the psalmist says in Psalm 103 how "God takes us out of the pit". I am thankful that through sanctification he continually rebuilds my life into a beautiful dwelling for His glory. This house was not an easy build in the midst they had challenge after challenge but, with perseverance they are almost finished. Oh how often is that my life. The hard times of toil often accompanied by anguish as we die to our selfishness and former ways can often feel so meaningless. Yet, in the end we trust that God truly does work for the good of those whom love him who he has called. So we to may be a beautiful work displaying is the glory of the Master Carpenter. I know this may seem corny but hey I like corny.

God made Guinness so women could get together.

Today I was blessed with an amazing time of fellowship with a women named Mindy. We didn't go get tea or a coffee at a local coffee shop. We got Guinness at the local pub and might I say that was one of the best Guinness' I had ever tasted. Coincidently the other times of fellowship that I had which I truly cherished were with women over a good strong beer like Guinness. After two Guinness', an amazing chocolate cake and much laughter my heart was filled with great joy for I had found another women after my own heart. I want to thank all the women out their in my life who share my love of a good strong beer and side splitting fellowship. We were created to love one another fully without pretense through the bonds of Christ. "To the Good Lord"

Resting in the South.

My Slice of Humbled by Served Southern Style

To order a slice of Humble Pie served southern style all one must do is teach God's Word to children. I have been wrestling with this inner turmoil of contentment for such a long time. Then today as I am teaching the children about the idolatry of the Israelites when they created the Golden Calf because God was doing what they thought he was supposed to do, I felt as if a knife wrenched in my heart. Oh, how I often do I do this. God provides in amazing ways all around me. Reminding me of His providence and goodness yet, I still act often out of disobedience. I want to scream and yell over these issues. Then even as I am writing this post I realize that the beauty of humble pie is that even though it may be tough to swallow the end result is still sweet and fulfilling. Thank you Lord for your tough and gentle love!

I got the blues.

I just spent the weekend with one of my best friends from Wichita. There are amazing women at school who love me. My children I adore. New friends have called me to share silly things. Yet, I am lonely. I wish I could say I was looking forward to my trip back home. But, I will admit I am afraid because going back home will remind me of what I don't have here. I just shared with my children today the importance of being content and resting where God has you. My heart was at a great resting point. Then the clock rolls by and even with all I am doing I still have the blues that I can not seem to shake. Thank you to all who love me both here in and in the sunflower state. Thank you for your patience as this sunflower belle struggles to find her place. People say it takes a year to get situated in a new place. I have 7 Months to go.